I have learned that the more open we are about ourselves, our insecurities, struggles and successes, the more we can acknowledge, accept, change and grow. Lately I have found myself keeping quiet about what’s going on inside and today I am changing that. Anyone that watched the show or has followed my story knows that my husband and I want to have a baby more than anything. I thought if I lost the weight it would magically happen right away… but it hasn’t.
We recently went through In Vetro Fertilization, which was invasive, difficult and scary, and in the end it failed. My heart ached and I felt myself shutting down like I always have in the past. I wasn’t allowed to exercise for over a month during the process and I couldn’t seem to make myself start again. I wanted to turn to food in order to comfort my broken heart. Terrible feelings of hopelessness tried to sneak their way in and I wanted to hide away. But this time I didn’t. I got in my car and I drove. I just kept driving, and while I drove I cried and prayed and pleaded all the way until I reached Movara.
I pulled myself together, wiped my eyes and went inside. No one knew what was going on inside my head and my heart. No one knew that I hadn’t exercised in over a month and was struggling to start again.All they knew was that I was there, and that made them happy! They welcomed me and wrapped their arms around me, not knowing that by doing so they were starting to heal my bruised feelings.
I watched the guests over the next little while interact with each other. I watched them encourage and push one another and rejoice at each other’s successes. A new friend came and grabbed me by the arm and said, “come on, we are going to dominate this next class!” and for the first time in over a month I exercised. I pushed those around me to go harder and faster, and they did the same for me! I walked out of that class feeling extremely accomplished. I joined in on the next class and then the next! It felt incredible, and I felt loved. That is something that I hear from the guests all the time, how loved and accepted they feel here, and I sincerely agree. Somehow during that first workout with people I had just met, yet somehow had a “we-are-all-in-this-together” bond with, I started to remember my worth.
I lied down last night and realized how different my whole world felt from just 15 hours before. I woke up this morning with a light heart and excitement to start my day again. Was it really from a couple of great workouts?? The exercise absolutely helped, but it’s the atmosphere and people at Movara that make me feel safe,
valuable and hopeful. I am invigorated by being here and truly inspired by the guests around me, and it changes who I am even upon returning home. People often ask me if I really believe it’s even worth it to just come for one week, since they have a lot more than a week’s worth of weight to lose. I say it would be worth all you have to come for an hour!
Being at Movara is more than getting to the top of a mountain, it’s during the climb that change occurs. It’s not just about changing physically here, but mentally spiritually and emotionally as well. I am grateful to not only be able to witness it every week during my visits, but experience it as well.