I had an interesting chat with my sister today that I wanted to tell you guys about. I related to everything she was saying and feeling. Here’s what happened.
I called my sister up and was greeted by a sad voice. It turns out she hasn’t exercised in a couple of weeks and is feeling awful! She told me that last night instead of setting her alarm to wake her up at 5:30 a.m. to go to the gym, she decided to just go to sleep and if she woke up on her own, she would go. Sure enough she woke up at 5:28 a.m. She laid there not wanting to get out of her warm bed. She thought of several excuses not to go, though she knew they were all stupid. She didn’t even go back to sleep, just laid there and watched the clock change every minute. When it was definitely too late for her to make it to the gym before work, guilt set in.
She eventually got up and got her boys ready for school. She felt awful about her decision and tried to push her guilt away with toaster waffles, butter and syrup as apposed to the healthy smoothie she tends to make after the gym. She dropped her boys off and went to work where she couldn’t shake this gloomy feeling.
She and a friend went to lunch. She felt like she deserved to order something big, greasy and unhealthy, so she did. Here’s the interesting part. She explained she did not mean “deserve” in the positive sense that she earned a reward for good behavior, but that how she felt about herself at the moment and the choices she had made that day made her feel like she didn’t deserve to put healthy food into her body. She felt she was only worthy of food that would match how she already felt about herself.
I’ve never been able to put my finger on why I make unhealthy food choices at times when I am feeling poorly about myself, but this made sense to me. That is why the way we think about ourselves and certainly the way we talk to ourselves is so important. We need to believe that we deserve to be healthy in order to become healthy.
At the Ivins resort we have an INCREDIBLE life coach named Jen Morton. Ask any past guest who has met with her, she is life-changing. I have sat in her classes and realized more than ever before in my life, ranch included, but I think it’s time for me to meet with her one on one and dig deeper. That is a scary thing for me, and I believe for many people. I don’t know what’s down there! For years I thought that I struggled with weight because I liked food too much. Turns out there’s a lot more to it. And luckily the life coaches are very good at helping people figure out those things. I think it’s time, don’t you? I’ll let you know how it goes.