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Heidi S – My Story

Aug 31, 2018 | 0 comments

I heard about Movara at the beginning of 2018. It was about the time that I was thinking about my goals for a new year, and knowing that I really needed to make some major changes in my life.

Wait…first just a little background information: I am a wife and mom to 5 kids. I am a work-a-holic. I love my job. I have my own brand of craft supplies and I love to “make pretty stuff”. I have also decided that I am a creative vampire!? I am only creative at night – which sparks a difficult cycle of staying up too late, and not having enough energy to exercise, and then using SUGAR to fuel me through the rest of the day. This has been going on for many years. And honestly, it had been working for me. I have told myself for years that I “thrive” off the adrenaline of chaos, and last minute magic.

In summer of 2015, tragedy struck our family. Our 16 year old son made the decision to end his life. I was immediately changed forever, along with the dynamic of our entire family as we dealt with the grief and trauma of a suicide in our family. If there was any “self-care” happening, it all ended. Fast food became the standard. Sleep was an escape. Energy was swallowed up in sadness. I could literally feel my body falling apart, but it was all I could do to keep up with the normal daily demands. I could compare my life to the “low power mode” on a phone that is almost out of battery. I had to allow time to help me heal (and therapy, coaching and faith). By the beginning of 2018, I felt ready to try and pick up some pieces.

This is where we rejoin the beginning of this story: I came across a post on Instagram from one of the hiking guides at Movara, and I was so inspired, that I started following @movarafitnessresort on Instagram. After noticing a few more posts, I was intrigued enough to check out the website, and learn more – enough to know that I really wanted to come for myself. But I was also very intimidated by all the exercise. Even though I was totally dreaming of spending time at Movara, the thought of taking the time off and away from my life was very scary to me. I mean, it seems that I can manage to leave for work trips and even family vacations… or other typical obligations…but LEAVE HOME just for me? No other reason? How can I justify that? How can I take the time, and inconvenience EVERYONE just so that I can go have this experience? The inner-battle was STRONG. I put off setting a date for my visit for months. It seemed that every week had a conflict! And new commitments were popping up left and right! I finally realized that I just had to pick a date, and then clear my schedule. I had to make it work. I wanted to come. I wanted to make changes. I wasn’t totally sure I could hack it.

As I am writing this… I am here, entering day 5.
I have about a million things that I could say about this time I have gifted myself… I am sore, tired and empowered! But the most significant thing I have come to realize about being here at Movara is that I can feel. That might seem like a weird statement… but by stepping out of my regular life, away from work and even my family – I started to feel again; the numbness of busy-ness, over-stimulation, stress and worry faded away and I realized how much I need me; how much I need to take care of me. Self-care is no joke; but it’s also become a trendy buzz word that sells face masks and promotes bath bombs. As much as I love both, I counter with the bold statement (that I am stealing from David Kozlowski, my partner on our podcast “Light the Fight”) which is this: Self-care is “best friending yourself”. Being your own number one cheerleader. Loving yourself unconditionally. Living up to the promises you make yourself, and then forgiving yourself when you fall short. Best-Friending yourself is believing that you matter enough to make necessary sacrifices to protect and care for YOU. I am deeply grateful for my family, and my team at work for supporting me. As I have walked these red rocks, and left sweat mixed with tears on the gym floor and cardio machines the overwhelming feeling I have is gratitude. I am so grateful for my body. It’s time for me to love and appreciate it, and honor it with movement and good food (and a bunch of massages).
Thank you for Movara. You are changing my life.